By Chris Welby, Good Energy’s Commercial Director

All over the world, turkeys have begun to understand that Christmas is not good for them.  Of course a few still believe in Father Christmas and insist that Christmas is a natural phenomenon that cannot be prevented, but the general view is that Christmas should be abolished.

To solve the problem, the worldwide federation of turkeys met up in “Gobblehagen” to agree to abolish Christmas.  This two-week meeting spent the first week decided on which Christmas should be prevented first, with a majority arguing for the traditional western Christmas of 25th December being the highest priority, although turkeys from other countries felt that their Christmas should be tackled first.  The turkey from the US, however, refused to budge on any Christmas until Thanksgiving was deemed a pseudo Christmas.

The second week recognised that an abolished Christmas would result in fewer turkeys and, as such, everybody felt the US should surrender most of its turkey rights, although the US thought China, as an up-and-coming turkey nation, should prevent turkey growth first.
After two weeks of arguing and gobbling, the world turkey leaders arrived to agree that they were still committed to abolishing Christmas and would continue to work on a plan…starting December the 26th.